2006

wishing you the very best for 2006

the majority of New Years Eve and Day was spent chatting and hanging out with my good buddy BLH. i also slept and ate, but not much more.

to say that this man is deep and so totally not a product of gay cloning would be an understatement. conversations with him are refreshing and genuine and stimulating.

in chat time, we were at least a total of five hours online talking about everything...

• in general:
  • men
  • women (well just a little)
  • ethics
  • work
  • religion
  • friendship

• in specific:
  • sharing stories about crazy/mentally unbalanced tricks we had (men from "the kennel club")

---

• • waxing sentimental about and bemoaning the decline/demise of the local bathhouses
  • bringing your game while being aware thats its all just trivial fun
  • getting a whole bottle a poppers spilled on your bare chest during Tantric sex rituals
  • strategizing and conquering in the hookup battlefield
  • removing blindfolds
  • distinguishing freek vs hoe
  • riding bikes
  • bringing the assman in playaj out of the closet
  • WTF with Aberzombie clones?
  • buying clothes
  • defining 'flabby'
  • healing shin splints
  • living in military housing
  • avoiding the omnipresent tweeker/partier
  • realizing that its not the party favor itself but the partier (there are some benefits)
  • monitoring the constantly changing rules about hooking up
  • using sex as a weapon - dangerous, but effective if used responsibly
  • assessing companionship and intimacy vs sex and physical self-gratification
  • spending less time online chasing tail
  • forgiving others
  • gaining skills at topping & bottoming
  • having CA vs TX residency
  • reading and creative writing
  • finding your voice in your style
  • being betrayed and hurt by so-called friends
  • determining when the fantasies of a prospective conquest are moving quicker than his real interests
  • snowing in Seattle
  • deemphasizing the material benefits of an LTR
  • thinking about buying a home in san diego just renting in san diego
  • kissing, the lost art of...
  • dealing with mental illness in the gay community

in face-to-face time, we shot the breeze on NYE from 2 to 7am (after dawn), and most of that in the parking lot of the gay eatery in San Diego Brian's throwing back a chinese chicken salad and a Laguna scramble, while sipping on hot mint tea with lemon and honey. then, on NYD, after doing the mandatory check of the the cam (defunct in 2010) at Mary's (now Urban Mo's), we met for Budweiser Selects (and an oddball Red Trolley) as well as burgers and fries served -- with a shake LOL -- by D.

well travelled and discriminating top gentlemen that we are, it was only natural that we would see booties that we recognize, even in the dim light ....

• B...d
• Oz...e
• Ca...b
• the Q
• Sh....s
• Ja....r
• Gu...e
  

( Pat, id like to buy a vowel...)

Topics, in no particular order, included

• men
• coming out stories
• pride celebrations and the circus atmosphere surrounding today's pride
• being turned out vs just having great s*x
• men
• getting assertive with lousy service in restaurants without getting ethnic
• escorting
• men
• drag queens
• violations of necessary body space in a drinking establishment
• doing whatever necessary to keep customers happy in all weather conditions
• men

And all of this was nearly at shouting volume. My voicebox was worked at the end of the night.

in gay time, only a brief second passed

in friendship time, it was forever ... in a good way.

holiday madness

what is it about holidays that makes us insane?

could it be that our normally self-interested behavior is suddenly supposed to be other-centered, for at least some brief period during the season that ends with the New Year celebration, and all for the sake of charity?

(here, charity = love, generosity, openness of spirit)

---

consider:

• for the salvation army representative in front of the department store we drop coins in the can, but in any other season, would we not simply ignore a can-carrying beggar?
• single menz repeat the seasonal mating ritual toward the holidays, so they wont be alone, and have a companion to blow out new year's eve with
• already established relationships are subject to cancellation, or interruption, or just upheaval
  • my most recent ex EJA and his BF at the time split on christmas eve 2004 in a dramatic and unexpected twist of events
  • every year end, TRM, my ex for 13 years, became progressively irrational, culminating in a dramathon that many times ended with us eating fry on new years eve and hitting the bathhouse.
    
    • why you ask? his birthday falls December 29 (another Capricorn, go figure!), much too close to the other gift-giving day. thus as a child in a family of six, he got fewer prezzies on both days. if only Jesus was born in July or August..
    • what day did TRM pack up everything that wasn't nailed down in the house and leave, unannounced, while I was away at work, and head to Columbus, OHIO? you guessed it, December 28. the year was 1994.
    • the first year we were together, TRM's mom skipped town for a booty call in Dayton (abt 1 hour drive from Columbus) on Christmas day.
• shopping deadlines loom in the too-soon future, the gnawing back of the throat feeling that you could save a bundle if you just exchanged gifts on the Epiphany (the Eastern Orthodox rite's day for celebrating the Birth), i.e., January 6.
• everyone has a holiday fête heavily underwritten by some of the finest US corporations: the Johnny Walker, Dewars, Philip Morris and other purveyors of distilled libation. Celebrants get into their cups, whether it's work related (read about BLH's), or WSS, or just at a friends' house.
  • oddly enough WSS repeated the venue for its party in Del Mar, on the solemn promise by HR to the hotel management that our festivities would not be as excessive as they were 3 years ago, when many of the inebriated were 86'ed from the hotel.
  • during the dinner portion of our party on Friday, we were urged to continue our liquid consumption, across the street, and responsibly. that wasn't too hard to accept if you add up the prices charged at the bar for a shot of Remy XO ($26.95) or a glass of just ordinary Merlot ($10.00). heck yeah im a miser. you bet I missed those free drink tickets. 
• people reach out to do the charitable thing, just in time to deduct it on Schedule A. big boxes of toys to be donated to children fill up. kids in TJ get bikes donated. we give gifts. scott adams' (the dilbert cartoonist and fabulously humorous writer) talked about how little effort was expended in acquiring a gift for his financée.

How about the freely given gift of charity?
How about "ministering" to another person, without feeling obligated to be charitable and ever cognizant that the deadline ends sometime early January? Does it just rub us the wrong way to be unconditionally charitable, all within a certain "magical" timeframe?
-- can't we all just get along?
-- can't we all just love each other?

What about a year of Decembers, so that Christmas season can last all year long?
TRM would be able to celebrate his bday on a monthly basis.
And we would remember the Christ child's birth just as often.

Thats a lot of eggnog drinking.